Your Abuser Is Your Guru

I got this idea from Katie, though via an article that was shocked at the idea, and criticising Katie.¹

I understood it immediately, even out of context, but even so, it's grown on me.

I may be seeing my mother on a video call in a few hours (she's invited, she may show up, I may show up, we'll see).

I plan not to say anything. Anything I'm tempted to say, is a sign that I'm reacting and it's time for me to leave. So it's better I leave the microphone off - less temptation that way. Better still not to even plug it in.

I'm not there to teach her anything, or to change her in any way. I'm there to be tested. I may enter with the intention not to react to anything, but my mother is an expert at finding weak points I didn't know I had. I can always depend on her to show me how enlightened I'm not. Just like a guru.